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So often these two things go together but often they don’t.Sometimes people really want to have sex with someone but they don’t feel aroused (or aroused enough).This can be because of stress, or worry about having sex with someone (worrying about being turned on can prevent us being turned on), the newness of sex, not feeling they have enough private space, having something else on their mind, not being ready for sex … Sometimes arousal and desire come together, sometimes they don’t.

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Sometimes when people really really want to have sex with someone (or by themselves) they find that arousal just isn’t happening for them.

So who gets status for having sex and who gets stigma?

This puts pressure on women to not to be active, powerful and horny when they have sex.

If the vagina isn’t aroused enough then entry sex can feel uncomfortable and painful which could result in harm.

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Some vaginas may need additional lubrication to keep moist but regularly needing this might be a sign that something isn’t quite working as it could. Sometimes erections don’t happen when we really want them to.When someone really wants to have sex with someone it is called ‘desire’.